Meetings

Apart from college romance and life there is too much of fiction shown in the movies about meetings. Those flashing suits, high impact dialogues, sexy secretaries and drama. Plus there are some spoilers in company training too about traits of meetings. But after I joined an MNC I faced blunt realities of meetings. I am going to spill a few observations


-Meetings mostly it happens in cramped rooms with, half broken chair and non working AC and bunch or bored people who has no idea why they are in meeting.

-There are no good looking girls. NO ENGINEERS, DON”T DREAM of it. You are certainly not going to fall in love in meetings.

-Falling in sleep is assured on the other hand. After falling asleep you can assume about presence of a pretty girl.

-Meetings are like life, no one knows why they are here.

-People with good acting skills have advantage of making expressions like they are interested. This would help in appraisals as they have “Proactively” participated in the procedure.

-Checking facebook, tweeting, or making high scores in Angry Birds are the only productive things you can do in the meetings.

 -Only sound is of the presenter and others' yawns. People's expressions are always funny, struggling between listening and boredom.

-Conference calls are like page 3 parties. Everyone introduces each other for the first 10 minutes. Then the others.

-Then people normally resume playing minesweeper other than the talking lot.

-Don't worry if you are not understanding some words used in the meeting. The user doesn't know the meaning of it and has read it from management books.

 -For example,” We have to look upon the potential solutions of the issue and we have to find out the optimum solution .” means “ We have to solve the problem”.

-Minutes of Meetings normally translate to,” We could have done this in easy way but  waste the time to complete the day. ”.

-Words never have the true meaning in these meetings. What is said in sugar coated words is to set your ass on the fire.

-Like,” Can you do this task?” interprets to “Haha! Gotcha, now you have to work your arse off in the late hours while I chill at my house.”

-And in the end guy who cracks jokes is normally the boss and joke are lame than Rebecca Black's “Friday”. Yet, you have to laugh like you are in Russel Peters gig.