Ziri- The Ultimate Siri

Ureaka! Zar has the revolution again. Recently I’ve been working on a project that will potentially change the face of the IT. Last year Apple came out with a feature in iPhone 4S that tooked the world by fancy ‘Siri’. This search lady did wonders and I’ve done this voice based programs in my 10th std project I decided to take this further. So people from IT be ready to relax and enjoy the whole day in office because I am presenting you “Zar’s siri” –ZIRI.

Now from years people have been coding tirelessly and making small programmes or application that makes people’s life easier and developer’s or computer engineer’s life hell. Those ruthless people from management or clients never understood that “Make this little change” sentence for them is just a sentence but for programmer it is a warrant to be in the jail of coding. But behold, I have arrived and will change it. IT people will go to home early, Then can have some sex life or watch movies or seek single girls hopelessly on the internet.

Ziri makes you feel like a boss. Your boss would be telling you always that do this, make this colour change, UI is not intuitive. Ziri would be your employee now. It would colabrate with any software and software dosen’t collaborate it will use brute force or threaten it with “I will make KRK code on you” etc. So, ziri will take out your voice command and make the real program work to that accordingly. However don’t expect ziri to fetch a beer while you would be downloading some stuff *cough* porn *cough*.

Ziri also has good vocabulary of swears(had to include it to make if friendly with engineers.) so don’t over command like “Do this project, idiot!”, “This was not to be done this way,douche”, it can turn mentally fatal. But simple commands as SQL conversations or java codes is cakewalk for ziri. It can also deal with SAP, Data cubes and what not. No, it doesn’t deal with spam mails and girlfriends or your fake facebook accounts. Also don’t be and jackass and ask ziri to write essays and love letters for you. It’ll come out of the computer and slap you in the face.
And before Apple cry babies are born and claim this is a copy they can ask siri, ”who is your daddy?”. One of the reason I built this is I hate consultancy. That client is god (read: we are its slaves) business goes beyond my understanding. With this people can build their own IT support. And our IT companies can focus on our country and make Rupee stronger. And make me richer also (Money,money,money mera dil bole).

And this software doesn’t have special requirements or conditions in * unless you don’t have a brain ,buy one soon because THIS IS IT!

Zar THe Great

I am Zar.I do have first name but I like to just share my greatness with the single name. Because If I write my full name that would return greatness overflow exception in any browser. I am a extreamly rich techie,who secretly runs many hacking services and small companies like Google,Facebook,just for side income though. I remember when zucky came to me pleading for making college project for him so I made him facebook(took just one night!easy code!).


As I am a shy person and zucky was a “Chaadi Buddy” I refused to take credits for Facebook.(PS:zucky is Mark Zuckerberg).I still remember zucky was a great cook ,thougth the greatness was added by me eating the food. I also supplied with the daily “Up-down” air tickets to him so that he can come around my house and do some homework and cooking for me as I was busy in building LH Collide for my10th Std. School project.Poor chaps from CERN couldn't solve much of the theories.

I vaguely remember that I gave 5 million Rs. For the facebook project from my weekly pocket money.I still remember how much hard time I had going to school by car and that too in an 2 months old Audi A5. (Oh! Haven't I told you I flied to the school.).Zucky was a brighter than some lot,some of them didn't even know how to write a linux kernel.Silly people seriously!That was the reason I allowed zucky to use Zar OS,the operating system to build on the facebook code I made. He is still awestruck by that OS and sometimes looks at its awesomeness too,just for getting inspiration.


Last year In movie “The social network” they even tried to frame me against zucky.I had to call Obama and stop the movie.Then the producer came to senses and removed my part.The name facebook also struck because of me,because my face is so informative like a big book.I gave the code name facebook and saved it to my 64 Gb pen drive(I used it as spare one. USB 3.0 version).It was painfully slow,the copy took 1.4 seconds to transfer. I had to check my PC all over to get back to millisecond speed.


I'll talk about my other supreme inventions later,as zucky is today guest cook at my place.Food is calling me.